“Everyone, grab a partner…”
At these words I used to want to run screaming from yoga class, but now realize the value of working à deux
For those of you who don’t know, I was trained in Anusara Yoga which was, for a time, a very popular style of yoga known as much for its founder’s unscrupulous business decisions and wiccan sex coven proclivities alignment principles and loquacious teachers as its emphasis on partner work.
I have a friend who so detested being asked to “grab a partner” during yoga class that she would simply roll up her mat and head for the door.
I totally get it.
There were days when I recoiled at being asked to sidle up to a stranger. I would have preferred to opt out entirely and stay on my mat.1 Isn’t the partial anonymity of a yoga class one of its perks? Floating on that thin raft of rubber for 60 minutes or so, undisturbed? As an introvert, my favorite part of class was listening and doing, but even more importantly: NOT HAVING TO EXTROVERT ON COMMAND.
Anyway, because partnering was so common in Anusara Yoga I learned pretty quickly to scan the classroom for a person more or less my size (1m53). Nothing worse than being caught off guard and being paired off with someone much taller. Better to be prepared and avoid awkward spotting.2
“If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” —African proverb
Cliché aside, in the case of partner work, it really is the case that we can go further with another person next to us. And further doesn’t mean deeper splits or more impressive backbends or pretzel poses; further means exploring the push-and-pull between trusting another person and being self-reliant.
Why?
Partner work requires us to alternate between two roles: teacher and student. And for this reason it has the potential to transform the way we absorb and share knowledge. A pinca mayurasana at the wall will teach us about self-confidence and strength, but one in the middle of the room? Spotted by a fellow student? That pinca will teach us trust and give us insight into our own proprioception. It’ll also make us more aware of the quality of our interpersonal communication and whether our language is clear or muddled.
From having done a lot of partner work I can tell you that partnering has taught me a lot3 about alignment (what cues do I respond to? What words have more impact on others?), and about how to create a sense of safety for another person. It has made me more compassionate about other people’s experiences and more sensitive about word choice when giving instructions.
If you don’t think those things are useful OFF the mat, I don’t know what to tell you…
Finally: some real talk
The each one-teach one methodology has tremendous value — it can be incredibly empowering — however the danger is that placing that kind of pressure on students can be triggering. Yogis not wanting to partner should be given an alternative or better yet the teacher should be their partner, at the wall if necessary.
Teachers: it’s also helpful to let students know at the beginning of class that there will be partner work. No one likes a pop quiz! This is your opportunity to explain how/why the partner exercises are part of the class plan and give students a chance to gird their loins for what comes next 😂
Why didn’t I say no or march out of the room like my friend? Well, when you grow up with parents who are 1) authoritarian and worse 2) teachers, your desire to be a obedient/good student overrides your preference for retreating inside your shell.
Good students are always prepared.
Partnering in yoga also sped up the friend-making process in class. Anonymity has its appeal for sure, but so does being recognized and greeted warmly by name.